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Author: Subject: Using animals to get around the smoking ban
Carl
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posted on 4-9-2009 at 17:22 Reply With Quote
Using animals to get around the smoking ban

Hi there

Thought I'd start another discussion on the forum, so that those loyal members who still log in once every 12 months will have something to reply to.

New legislation concerning smoking in public places has meant that since 2007 our pubs, clubs, restaurants and even taxis have been completely smoke free and most people I speak to applaud this change. However, I feel differently. Whilst I have never been a smoker myself, I have always enjoyed passive smoking and I have come to realise that cigarette smoke adds to the atmosphere of many of the venues I visit. Now that smoke is gone, these places seem incomplete, like something essential is missing.

Now, all the legislation I can find seems to define smoking as the action of taking something containing tobacco and burning it in your mouth. Crucially, the definitions always imply that a person is doing the smoking: it is an act committed by a human being. Given this fact, I think I've hit upon an excellent way of bringing a smoke-filled atmosphere back into my favourite haunts without falling foul of any legislation. I propose importing a baby Orang-utan from the Amazon and getting it hooked on fags, which apparently circuses do all the time. Then, when I next visit the pub, I can just take my pet Orang-utan with me and buy it a packet of cigarettes. Hey presto, I get to spend the evening passive smoking and the letter of the law stays intact.

In fact, I suspect that pubs have always anticipated that people would cotton on to this sort of thing, as most have kept their cigarette machines in operation. In time, we might find ourselves popping down our local to enjoy a pint, a packet of crisps and a smoke with chimps, dogs, bears, seals, pandas, zebras, lizards--a whole menagerie of God's creatures! Who'd have thought that by banning smoking we'd be revolutionising the drinking experience in such a profound and wonderful way!

Best wishes

Carl

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Mercury Rising
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posted on 9-9-2009 at 12:39 Reply With Quote
Many of the animals you mention are, sadly, named in the schedule to the Dangerous Wild Animals Act 1976 and whilst the Act does allow you to obtain a license to keep such an animal, it also stipulates that the animal must be kept in approved accommodation at your premises unless you have specific permission in the license to take it elsewhere. I suspect that you are unlikely to get a license that allows you to take your orangutan, lizard or panda (all of which are named in the schedule) to the pub. Perhaps one of those giant rats just discovered in a volcanic crater in New Guinea? They won't have made it into the legislation yet.

[Edited on 9-9-2009 by Mercury Rising]

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slow riot
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posted on 22-9-2009 at 01:38 Reply With Quote
i think the smoking ban is ok-ish.

it sucks that it's not at the disgression of the venue owner. or the actual people themselves.

i think, too, that cigarette smoke adds to the atmosphere of a pub or club.

i smoke myself, but still do not appreciate not having a choice in the matter. like if you're at a gig and someone blows smoke into your face from about 3 inches away.

anways, worse things have ahppened at sea and all. it's nice to step outside and have a chat and a cigarette.

i was at a family wedding recently and some of the few social contacts i had outside of the fairly intrverted social environment were some chats with smokers.

animals should be allowed to smoke if they want to, but they seem to do ok as it is (when we're not killing them or their land, that is).

p.s. hello indeisoc stragglers. hope you're alive and well.





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posted on 22-9-2009 at 01:41 Reply With Quote
p.p.s. in true to form indiesoc fashion. here's a mix tape. a bit folky kinda.

http://www.sendspace.com/file/qgwu9l

tracks.

fistful of wistfulness - pre tension x
vashti bunyan - diamond day
gorky's zygotic mynci - miss trudy
animal collective - everyone whistling
kevin ayers - town feeling
beach boys - vegetables
animal collective - chocolate girl
fistful of wistfulness - nitrous frenzy
sun city girls - nancy reagan
captain beefheart - there ain't no santa claus on the evenin' stage
fistful of wistfulness - kidonamerrygoround
fistful of wistfulness - if ul b-1
circulatory system - inside blasts
wendy carlos - a woman's song
the microphones - instrumental
robert wyatt - alifib
robert wyatt - alifie
animal collective - doggy
circulatory system - joy
animal collective - winters love
duckett - stock up on antibiotics
beach boys - fall breaks and back to winter
the olivia tremor control - i have been floated
fistful of wistfulness - somnus
sun city girls - radio morocco





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posted on 22-9-2009 at 01:46 Reply With Quote
p.p.p.s

the idea of enjoying the company of animals at a pub is quite attractive in a futuristic utopian sort of way. but who should decide on the paramters of social interaction? should they be allowed to drink/smoke? are they allowed to use drugs. would they need to have a separate section? what about if they're wearing hoodies?

we still have so much to learn.





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